To thank you for inviting us to your beach house, the people of my country ceremonially scatter the entryway with used test strips and dog poo bags (unused). Try to think of them as rose petals, or leis.
2AM check new site: 419.
C’est impossible! Belly site legendary effective insulin entry. Dutiful Bigfoot inject correction syringe. (Arm.) 3u—fuzzy math. ISF 100 or 80? I am so tired. I think I need a calculator for this. It’s so sad that I’m too tired to remember there’s one on my phone. Either way maybe OK. (419-240=179. 419-300=119. Uhhhhh. OK?)
Obvsly, this not medical advice. 400+ require test ketones. Did not. No speck of this medical. Pretty much wish, kiss, wink sub in for science this night.
Begin prepare change site. Arm poke wake Bubs little bit. Belly site still on, but unplug.
BUBS: Hey! There’s a site stuck on my tummy. What’s that doing there?
BIGFOOT: Oh, that’s just the old one. You’re high so I’m changing your site. Sorry I woke you. I guess the old one got stuck there. That’s funny (It could be true. Pretty much true)
BUBS: Aw, I thought I finally got a site on there, but it’s just the sticker?
BFOOT: (…)
BUBS: (points finger straight over head and speaks very forcefully) TELL JACKY TO PUT IT IN THE PEACH TREE
BFOOT: (…) Are you asleep?
BUBS: (normal voice) I wish you’d done the new site in my belly while I was sleeping. Then I’d get ten dollars!
BF: Okay, well, maybe the next time you need a new site, The Belly Fairy will come to visit and leave ten dollars under your pillow
BUBS: Or how about a small Lego set? Like a $13 set
BF: That’ll be up to the Fairy
BUBS: Or one of those Star Wars planet ball sets? They’re $10
BF: Do you even like those?
BUBS: (Shrugs. Falls back to sleep)
I made this guide to insertion angles for reference. Courage!
Subterfuge: got away with whole pie! Dishonesty pay off. Not only Bubs suggest with own brain/mouth same plan Evil Bigfoot hatch w/o permission, also create new imaginary gift-giving character: Belly Fairy. Could also visit for belly button piercing, appendectomy, late-term circumcision, PRN.
Peel off “old site” that “got stuck” tummy. Examine for defect. Forensic study reveal this site fail because Bigfoot too timid w kachunker angle: cannula skim along skin surface. Not penetrate. Dang.
When try again, need bolder angle.
